“I went into a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.”

Steven Wright

Steven Wright - “I went into a general store. They...” 1

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“I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”

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“First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.”

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“Mom put dense cheddar bread into a bag for a man who said this was his wife's favorite - he'd driven all the way from New Jersey to buy it because today was their anniversary. Several women in the store jabbed their husbands on hearing this. I hung my head - Peter Terris wouldn't cross the street to buy me a Twinkie.”

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“And of course you wouldn't be going alone,' Will said impatiently. 'I would go with you. I wouldn't let anything happen to you.”

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“They buy things in ready-made stores. But since there are no stores where you can buy friends, people no longer have friends.”

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