“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”

“If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?”

“The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.”

“Women. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.”

“When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”

“I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.”