“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

“Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak? ”

“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”

“My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.”

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.”

“How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?”