“If God dropped acid, would he see people?”

“When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment?”

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”

“What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?”

“What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?”

“How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?”