“If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.”

“When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment?”

“The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?”

“Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?”

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”

“Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.”

“Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak? ”