“If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.”

“Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak? ”

“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”

“If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?”

“I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.”

“I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.”

“It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.”