“If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?”

“You can't have everything ... where would you put it?”

“You cant have everything. Where would you put it?”

“If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?”

“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...”

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

“I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.”