“I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.”

“So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over...”

“I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.”

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”

“My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.”

“The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?”

“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”