“Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.”

“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.”

“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”

“I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter.”

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.”

“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”

“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”