“Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.”

“I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.”

“I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier theywouldn't have to go so fast.”

“When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?”

“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”

“I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.”

“I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I didn’t have that much time.”