“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

“I had amnesia once or twice.”

“I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.”

“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”

“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”

“I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.”

“I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.”