“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
“Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.”
“What a nice night for an evening.”
“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”
“If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?”
“It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.”