“Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?”

“So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over...”

“When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.”

“When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.”

“I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".”

“Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?”

“Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?”