“I don't drink coffee I take tea my dearI like my toast done on one side ..."(Englishman in New York)”

“I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my hot tea. The strange part was the fact that I was drinking coffee at that moment.”

“You're toast."I felt like toast, burning with anger inside my waterproof layers. "I am not," I insisted. "I might be lightly browned on one side.”

“People assume because I'm a coffee expert I drink lots of coffee. I can't. It takes me half an hour to brew my perfect cup. Do the math. I simply don't have time to drink more.”

“The privileges of the side-table included the small prerogatives of sitting next to the toast, and taking two cups of tea to other people's one.”

“That is my problem with life, I rush through it, like I'm being chased. Even things whose whole point is slowness, like drinking relaxing tea. When I drink relaxing tea I suck it down as if I'm in a contest for who can drink relaxing tea the quickest.”