“I showered and shampooed. I even shaved the requisite legs and armpits just in case I fell in a swoon and one or the other was exposed to view. (Kinsey Millhone)”

“For the record, I'd like to say that I'm a big fan of forgiveness as long as I have a chance to get even first"Kinsey Millhone, V is for Vengeance”

“Personally I don’t endorse the notion of mortality. It’s fine for other folk, but I disapprove of the concept for me and my loved ones. Seems unfair that we’re not allowed to vote on the matter and not one of us is excused. Who made up that rule?" - Kinsey Millhone”

“I was in the shower the other day and I noticed on the back of the shampoo bottle it said, "Avoid contact with eyes. In case of eye contact, flush with water." and I thought, "Avoid eye contact? What do you think I do, talk to shampoo bottles? And even if I did converse with soap, am I not worthy to look at the bottle while I talk to it, that I have to purge myself with water after gazing upon it?”

“And all the while one spirit uttered this,The other one did weep so, that, for pity,I swooned away as if I had been dying,And fell, even as a dead body falls.”

“While I'm not a big fan of nature, its intractability amuses me to no end. (Kinsey Millhone)”