“When I'm with you, I don't feel self-conscious or like I'm crippled or ugly. I don't know how you do that, but it's nice.”

“I don't know what is love about and I'm not sure I believe in it anyway.”

“I know there are people who believe you should forgive and forget. For the record, I'd like to say I'm a big fan of forgiveness as long as I'm given the opportunity to get even first.”

“It's like people think just because you go to church you're not all that bright. I mean just because I'm a born-again doesn't mean I lost IQ points.”

“About every six to eight months, I run into a man who astounds me sexually, but between escapades, I'm celibate, which I don't think is any big deal. After two unsuccessful marriages, I find myself keeping my guard up, along with my underpants.”

“I may have people lying to me, but since I don't really know the truth, I can't be sure.”

“Thinking is hard work, which is why you don't see many people doing it.”