“Christmas makes me schmaltzy. I'm proud to be level-headed, even a little tough most of the time. But once a year I like to believe that peace on earth may be possible and calories don't count.”
“Once a year I need to hear you tell me how proud you are of me for growing a little more.”
“I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.”
“At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year.”
“It is possible to communicate beautifullym or boringly, in every language on Earth. But people don't like to believe this. They make self-aggrandizing myths instead.”
“Calories don't count if they're connected to a celbration. Everyone knows this.”