“Adrian Mole's diaryEasterPoor Jesus, it must have been dead awful for him. I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself.”

“I see Jesus in every human being. I say to myself, this is hungry Jesus, I must feed him. This is sick Jesus. This one has leprosy or gangrene; I must wash him and tend to him. I serve becuase I love Jesus.”

“They've strengthened the walls since last year. I wouldn't fancy trying to storm the place.""Don't pretend you'd have the guts to storm the place""I wouldn't fancy telling someone else to storm the place""Don't pretend you'd have the guts to give the orders""I wouldn't fancy watching you tell someone else to storm the place.""No.”

“This steak wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if I'd been lying dead at the bottom of a ravine. I lifted my martini and drank to that.”

“Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?”

“I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.”