“I thought I was over him! So why did my heart still rip? Why did I still feel this sorrow? I got this strange sensation that God was with me. And he was angry. He was very angry--not at me and not at Jack. God was angry at the pain I was going through. I wondered if that was why God hated sin, because of the destruction it caused. For a moment I felt awe for a God who loved me enough to hate the things that hurt me without hating me for causing them.”
In this quote from Susan E. Isaacs, the speaker reflects on the lingering feelings of heartbreak despite believing she had moved on. The speaker experiences a profound sense of divine presence and anger, attributing it to God's displeasure over the pain she is going through. This realization leads the speaker to a deeper understanding of God's love and hatred for sin, as a means of protecting His beloved from harm. The speaker expresses awe and gratitude towards a God who can hate the things that cause suffering without hating the person affected by them. This quote illustrates a complex mix of emotions and spiritual insight that highlights the speaker's journey towards healing and understanding.
In this passage from Susan E. Isaacs, the speaker reflects on her feelings of heartbreak and the presence of God in her life. Despite the pain she is experiencing, she finds comfort in the idea that God is not angry at her or her ex-partner, but at the pain and destruction caused by sin. This reflection speaks to the timeless struggle of dealing with heartbreak and finding solace in the belief that a higher power is watching over us with love and understanding.
In this powerful quote from Susan E. Isaacs, the protagonist grapples with feelings of heartbreak and sorrow, ultimately finding solace in the belief that God is with her, feeling angry at the pain she is experiencing. This moment of reflection inspires awe for a God who loves her enough to hate the things that cause her harm.
As you reflect on these powerful words from Susan E. Isaacs, consider the following questions:
Have you ever experienced a situation where you thought you were over someone or something, yet found yourself still feeling deep sorrow or pain? What emotions did you experience in that moment?
How do you interpret the idea of God being angry at the pain you were experiencing, rather than at you or the person causing the pain? How does this perspective shift your understanding of God's love and compassion?
In what ways does this passage make you rethink the concept of sin and God's response to it? Do you see sin as something that God hates because of the harm it causes, rather than as a personal attack on individuals?
Consider the author's moment of feeling awe for a God who loves them enough to hate the things that hurt them. How does this perspective challenge your own beliefs about God's love and protection in times of suffering or pain?
“Just say it: I'm angry and no one will like me. God: No, I will not say that. But don't you think we ached for you to find a love you could share your whole life with? I used your teachers to encourage you creatively when the church could not... I worked with whatever I got my hands on. Can you see that?”
“It often felt like God had merely let me into a foyer where I could hear others playing my note in another room, with no way to get to the music. And that's really what I wanted to do. I wanted to play my note. I wanted to do the thing that made me feel alive.”
“Because if I let myself feel the pain and the anger, I think it might kill me. Or I might kill someone else. I know it's wrong to feel that way about God and I know its's wrong to not feel anything. I hate it. I don't hate God. I hate not loving Him.”
“I know. So, I was angry with you. I didn't know why. I was angry with the world. I did know why. I hated all my therapists for being useless. I was this little ball of self-destructive fury, and none of them could do anything but tell me that I was a little ball of self-destructive fury. [...] I knew I was angry. Tell me what to do with that anger, please.”
“If I never got to make a living doing what I loved, I'd still do it--for fun and for free.”
“I remembered something Father Michael said to me a the monastery. 'The human soul is meant to expand. Things that once captured your heart may no longer be able to contain it.”