“I married a damned cereal killer”
“How many boxs of Fruit Loops do you need to smash to be considered a cereal killer?”
“One of Beethoven's favorite dishes was macaroni and cheese. The girl I marry must be able to make good macaroni and cheese...""How did Beethoven feel about cold cereal?”
“I'm your worst damn nightmare, Skeletor. I'm a vampire killer with fangs and a grudge.”
“Tell that to the BTK killer,” I said. “He was a churchgoer, raised two kids, married, and resisted the urge to kill for decades. He was a person, but he was a monster, too”
“It could be worse," he said finally. "Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I suppose, a psychopathic spree killer isn't that odd of a choice, considering.”