“Isn't it fascinating that he mainly dates women with limited English? But I guess it prevents a silly thing like conversation from interfering with sex.”

“Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?""I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.”

“The question is… How did a girl like Annabelle manage to talk a man like you into joining our silly little family party?” Annabelle smiled sweetly. “I promised he could tie me up afterward and spank me.”

“I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)”

“He shook his head. "The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.”

“Sex with Panda was like being in a porno movie but without a third party involved.”

“Isn't there a mirror someplace where you can go admire yourself?" "I never knew a woman so hung up on my good looks." "All your women are hung up on your good looks. They just pretend it's your personality.”