“Love, I've discovered is a transient emotion best satisfied by a good fuck.”

“Be the best at what you're good at”

“You were the best birthday present I ever got.""Thank you.""I wanted to give you something back, but I've got to warn you that it's not half as good as my present. Even so, you have to keep it.""All right."He draped the pink bow around his neck and grinned. "Happy birthday, Rosebud.”

“He could deal with his guilt all by himself. Guilt didn't add up to love, an emotion she was done with forever.”

“You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!”

“I think this is the way love feels to people like you and me. Threatening and dangerous. We have to be in control, and love takes that away. People like us… We can't tolerate vulnerability. But despite our best efforts, sooner or later love seems to catch up with us. And then…And then we fall apart.”

“What the hell did magic wands have to do with helping girls learn math and science? He'd been good at both. He could have helped them with math and science. Weren't these girls supposed to be building skills? Screw magic wands. He'd have handed out some fucking calculators.”