“> ...all I could think was what hell it is for the survivors when death slams into life without warning and smashes every fixed point on the emotional map.”

“I could have fixed almost everything else, but death defeated me every time.”

“If there was a hell beyond what he knew, he would welcome it. He had no reason not to.After all, a life without living was simply a death without dying. What more was there to fear or hate but life, endless life, with no respite?”

“Political prisoners describe:- extreme physical and emotional torture- distortion of language, truth, meaning and reality- sham killings- begin repeatedly taken to the point of death or threatened with death- being forced to witness abusive acts on others- being forced to make impossible "choices"- boundaries smashed i.e. by the use of forced nakedness, shame, embarrassment- hoaxes, 'set ups', testing and tricks- being forced to hurt othersRitual abuse survivors often describe much the same things.”

“How do I get past my fears? Make a life for myself? Risk loving someone? When death is all that waits for you, what's the point in trying to have a life?”

“So dear I love him, that with him all deaths I could endure, without him live no life.”