“Maybe careers aren’t something you can really plan for. They just sort of happen, like brown eyes or flat feet. I took one of those career aptitude tests last year, and it showed that I should be a flight attendant or a seamstress. Not a fashion designer or anything, mind you, but a sweatshop worker. Apparently stewardesses and sweatshop workers and I enjoy a lot of the same interests and activities.”

“Can you dance?Of course, I said, even though I can’t really. I think enthusiasm counts for a lot in dancing and in life.”

“Well, at least I can spare myself the ordeal of a whole battery of personality tests. My personality is poor; that much is clear.”

“Not being a big one for having friends, I had no idea what I was going to do with Aubrey, you know, to entertain him.”

“When I write my book I'm going to tell people that if they happen to forget their wide-mouth jar, they should pee far enough away from their position so it doesn't ruin their hiding spot.”

“Sherman: You are the worst.Rick: You taught me everything I know.”

“I don’t care about this stuff. I’m not even sure I’m a girl. I’m an eye in the sky. I am detached. I’m an idiot.”