“Not being a big one for having friends, I had no idea what I was going to do with Aubrey, you know, to entertain him.”

“Sherman: You are the worst.Rick: You taught me everything I know.”

“I haven’t been that happy since I became conscious for the first time, you know, when I became aware of myself and got so uncomfortable and everything.”

“People never like to talk about their slower relatives. I got a cousin, twice removed, got webs between his toes, ain't said one word his whole life. You never hear about him in the family newsletter that goes around every Christmas. Hell, nobody mentions me, either, if it comes to that. Families is funny about who they advertise.”

“It’s not a good idea to let on about extreme happy feelings. People get ideas.”

“Maybe careers aren’t something you can really plan for. They just sort of happen, like brown eyes or flat feet. I took one of those career aptitude tests last year, and it showed that I should be a flight attendant or a seamstress. Not a fashion designer or anything, mind you, but a sweatshop worker. Apparently stewardesses and sweatshop workers and I enjoy a lot of the same interests and activities.”

“In the future if my mother tries to shame me with her disapproval, I will let her know in no uncertain terms that I reject her and all of her codependent baggage. I am Codependent No More.”