“It has been remarked (by a lady infinitely cleverer than the present author) how kindly disposed the world in general feels to young people who either die or marry. Imagine then the interest that surrounded Miss Wintertowne! No young lady ever had such advantages before: for she died upon the Tuesday, was raised to life in the early hours of Wednesday morning, and was married upon the Thursday; which some people thought too much excitement for one week.”

“Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of.”

“...and every Wednesday the perfumed young lady slips me a hundred-crown note to leave her alone with the convict. And by Thursday the hundred crowns are already gone in so much beer. And when the visiting hour is over, the young lady comes out with the stink of jail in her elegant clothes; and the prisoner goes back to his cell with the lady's perfume in his jailbird's suit. And I'm left with the smell of beer. Life is nothing but trading smells.”

“Marry on Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth,Wednesday the best day of all,Thursday for crosses,Friday for losses, and Saturday for no luck at all.”

“Once upon a time there was a young lady who lived in a marsh, and her name was Poison.”

“Now, then, young lady. Which of these gentlemen will you marry?""This one." She squeezed [his] arm.The vicar inspected [him] and sniffed. "Doesnt look that much different from the other one.""Nevertheless"- she fought to remain sober-faced- "this is the man I want.”