“I was trying to explain my situation to myself. My situation was that I was in pain and nobody knew it, even I had trouble knowing it. So I told myself, over and over, You are in pain. It was the only way I could get through to myself. I was demonstrating externally and irrefutably an inward condition.”
Explore This Quote Further
Quote Analysis
In this quote from Susanna Kaysen's memoir "Girl, Interrupted," the protagonist grapples with the internal struggle of feeling pain and not being able to fully acknowledge it to herself or others. By repeatedly affirming her own pain externally, she seeks to validate and make sense of her experience. This quote highlights the complexity of understanding and expressing emotions, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and self-acceptance in navigating difficult situations.
Modern Relevance
In this quote from Susanna Kaysen, the narrator expresses the struggle of dealing with internal pain and the difficulty of making it known to others. In today's society, where mental health awareness is increasing, this quote resonates with many individuals who may be experiencing similar challenges.
With the stigma surrounding mental health decreasing, more people are feeling empowered to speak out about their struggles and seek help. This quote serves as a reminder to acknowledge and validate our own pain, even when it may not be obvious to others. It highlights the importance of self-awareness and self-care in navigating difficult emotions and experiences.
Examples of Usage:
In this powerful quote from Susanna Kaysen, she delves into the experience of feeling pain that is internal and often goes unnoticed by others. The use of repetition and self-affirmation is highlighted as a coping mechanism in trying to come to terms with her own suffering.
- "You are in pain," she whispered to herself, a mantra repeated like a lifeline in moments of darkness and despair.
- As she looked in the mirror, she would remind herself, "You are in pain," a reminder of the hidden struggles that she faced daily.
- Walking through the crowded streets, she would silently repeat, "You are in pain," a silent plea for understanding in a world that seemed indifferent to her suffering.
Reflection Questions
In this quote from Susanna Kaysen, she reflects on the internal struggle she faced in trying to acknowledge her own pain. This raises questions about self-awareness, communication, and the complexity of our own emotions. Reflect on the following questions:
- Have you ever experienced a situation where you felt like your internal struggles were not understood or acknowledged by others?
- How do you typically communicate your feelings and emotions to yourself and others? Do you find it challenging to express your pain or struggles?
- In what ways can you improve your self-awareness and understanding of your own emotions? Are there any practices or techniques that have helped you in the past?
- How can you demonstrate your inner condition to yourself and others in a healthy and effective manner?
Similar quotes
“I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that it was my task to swallow fifty asprin.It was my task:my job for the day.-17 Girl Interrupted”
“Why did she do it? Nobody dared to ask. Because - what courage! Who had the courage to burn herself? Twenty aspirin, a little slit alongside the veins of the arm, maybe even a bad half hour standing on a roof: We've all had those. And somewhat more dangerous things, like putting a gun in your mouth. But you put it there, you taste it, it's cold and greasy, your finger is on the trigger, and you find that a whole world lies between this moment and the moment you've been planning, when you'll pull the trigger. That world defeats you. You put the gun back in the drawer. You'll have to find another way.What was that moment like for her? The moment she lit the match. Had she already tried roofs and guns and aspirins? Or was it just an inspiration?I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that today I had to swallow fifty aspirin. It was my task: my job for the day. I lined them up on my desk and took them one by one, counting. But it's not the same as what she did. I could have stopped, at ten, or at thirty. And I could have done what I did do, which was go onto the street and faint. Fifty aspirin is a lot of aspirin, but going onto the street and fainting is like putting the gun back in the drawer.She lit the match.”
“Actually, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy.”
“The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think manypeople kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark--why not killmyself? Missed the bus--better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie--maybeI shouldn't kill myself.”
“And in the end, I lost him. I did it on purpose, the way Garance lostBaptiste in the crowd. I needed to be alone, I felt. I wanted to be going on alone to my future.”
“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is… Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends.”