“Resolution #7: Shrink self to less lardtastic size”

“And Mum was all 'don't you two look grownup' which obvs means 'omg slutbags' in the language of Parent.”

“She says 'there will be other parties, sera, durrr,' only the next thing will be the thing at J's next weekend and even if I was invited I will be at Dad's. When I will have to be Princess Sera all over again. Which will be quite confusing for him what with Evil Witch Sera of Betchistan usually being the one who comes to stay.”

“I know! I was like, hello, woman, do you have to unleash your flowing red tides of PMS on ickle me?”

“If I ask her tonight she is going to say 'omg what now, bitchlet?" before I even get the words out of my mouth.”

“Because one day people will stop reading Bloody Romeo and his Crap Dead Girlfriend and they will all sit in classrooms watching Youtubery from THE PAST that is now and reading BLOGGAGE instead and writing essays about magnificent us.”

“FRANTASTICA: You Know Who says you look fabulous, darlink. ;)SERAFINA67: ONG Voldemort has been eyeing me up?FRANTASTICA: Well, you are looking a little bit Slytherin now. Tom Felton will not be able to resist.SERAFINA67: Eeeee sekrit crush! Why are evil people always the prettiest?PATCHWORKBOY: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! *twirls moustache evilly*”