“You're the very nicest jerk I know.”

“While I sleep, and I sleep often these days, he spends much of his time in the church downtown. The very one I never could convince him to attend. He claims he is praying. But I know he is trying to strike a bargain with our Maker.One hand of Black Jack, I know he says. Winner gets to keep the girl.I know for sure, were J. granted that game of cars with the Almighty, he’d go into it with both an ace and a jack up his sleeve.”

“You're not my type for long-term imprisonment.”

“If I were haunting A.J., he’d damn well know it.”

“You know, Savannah, if you cry, I won’t tell anyone,’ Ken said quietly. ‘I promise.”

“I know the M-word makes you nervous, but yeah. I'm talking about the big, permanent friendship. A little different from what Joe and Charles had, though. See, I want to be the kind of best friends who make love every night, who share all their darkest secrets and favorite jokes, and maybe even someday make babies together. I know that kind of friendship requires hard work, but you know, I'm pretty good at hard work.~ Tom Paoletti, "The Unsung Hero”

“How can you sit here and know that day... three I'm not going to be driving you crazy because I laugh like a horse or...or... dress up your penis in Barbie clothes?”