“I squeeze my eyes shut and try to reach for him across the hundreds and hundreds of miles, to send my thoughts into his mind, to let him know he is not alone. But he is. And I can't help him.”

“I lay on my stomach, reached down and poked him. He rolled up. Then, feeling safe, I suppose, he slowly unrolled. He travelled a few inches in his hundred legs and I touched him again. He rolled up. Feeling sleepy, I decided to end things. My hand was going down on him when Jem spoke.”

“I watched as he comprehended what it was that he saw on my face, in my eyes. And I watched as a part of him shut down, locked away from me forever. And I hid the fact that my heart was breaking even as I lied to him, even as I broke his. And I swore I would never let him know otherwise, or I would truly be lost and the war would be over.”

“I know a song about him. But I thought he lived a hundred years ago.We all did. Once I was as young as you.”

“I squeezed my eyes shut and took several deep breaths, trying not to smell Jace in front of me, not to taste him on my lips. But it was useless. In that moment, Jace was everywhere. He was in my mind, he was in my heart, and he was in my memory. He smelled good. He tasted good. And the blissful aftershock still throbbing in my most sensitive places felt wonderful, when everything else in my life was an obstacle to be overcome.”

“I slapped him hard across the face. He didn't react to it; he just closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the headrest. Tears began to prick my eyes, and I did nothing to try and stop them. "I can't stand this," I said through the tears, "I can't stand what I've become.”