“Its hard to hate my prep team. They're such total idiots.”

“I'm Cooper Taylor. I'm a Scorpio. I enjoy women, long walks on the beach, and my roommate says I use girly shampoo. Oh, and I generally hate anyone in the film industry because they're total assholes. Guess you could say I'm you Pai Mei.""Willow Avery. Actress, Cancer, and according to my team, on my last leg before porn.”

“Teen angst is so boring, isn't it? I try so hard not to be a cliche, but it's like written in my DNA to hate my parents and be totally unsatisfied with everything. I wonder if there's anyone our age who actually likes their life.”

“They don't plant in rows because they're idiots,and they don't use farm equipment because they're idiots,and they don't plant in spring because they're idiots..”

“Cleaning me up is just a preliminary step to determining my new look. With my acid-damaged hair, sunburned skin, and ugly scars, the prep team has to make me pretty and then damage, burn, and scare me in a more attractive way.”

“Men. <...> They're idiots. It's like they all take a vow of stupidity or something.”