“It's my new best friend, Claudius Templesmith, and as I expected it, he's inviting us to a feast.”

“I, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus This-that-and-the-other (for I shall not trouble you yet with all my titles) who was once, and not so long ago either, known to my friends and relatives and associates as "Claudius the Idiot", or "That Claudius", or "Claudius the Stammerer", or "Clau-Clau-Claudius" or at best as "Poor Uncle Claudius", am now about to write this strange history of my life; starting from my earliest childhood and continuing year by year until I reach the fateful point of change where, some eight years ago, at the age of fifty-one, I suddenly found myself caught in what I may call the "golden predicament" from which I have never since become disentangled.”

“Sincere deeds invite new friends.”

“So I separated all my books into stacks: best friends, old friends, classic friends, new friends, and casual acquaintances. ”

“I'm in love with my new best friend.”

“Herschel was a Jew.""And he was my best friend.""He was his best friend.""And I murdered him.”