“If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?”

“If your leg is in a cast, it's really dumb to sit in front of your computer doing unnecessary stuff with it hanging down. Your leg will swell and heal slower, if at all. When you go to your doctor, he/she will give you one of those "you're really dumb and self destructive" looks. Also, "Why didn't you follow my orders and rest?" Your doctor will be right, and so will mine at my next office visit. Elevate, folk! Elevate your mind, your soul, and your leg, in the order needed!”

“The lengths I go to just to get between your legs.”

“Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.”

“I know you feel it, Alexis. You want me between your legs just as badly as I want to be there.”

“Oh, I burned it with my straightener.”“You burned your leg with your straightener? How long is your leg hair?”