“I had received a t-shirt from my best friend Veronica at my police academy graduation. It reads, ‘Throw your donut in the opposite direction and the cops won’t get you.’ I love wearing that t-shirt.”

“Even sentenced to twenty-five years in prison Ted didn’t get what he deserved. Maybe his prison mates would give it to him.”

“Another note to self; turn cellphone to silent when you’re trying to be sneaky.”

“Was I wearing my 'I'm done with my virginity, please get rid of it for me' T-shirt?”

“Do you always play this hard to get?""I wish I could afford to play hard to get. You women have wised up a lot in the last decade or so. None of my old lines work anymore.""You mean 'wanna get naked' doesn't have women falling all over you?"Mac peered at her over the top of the menu. "Hey, that's my best one.""I'd hate to hear your worst."Yeah, you would. He set the menu down and leaned in as though about to say something confidential. "I crash and burn a lot."Mac and Rachel.”

“I made a t-shirt that says, "Today's my birthday" on it, so that I can ask for hugs from strangers and point to the text on my tee as the reason why they should oblige. It's not a once-a-year t-shirt, as I wear it every Tuesday.”

“If I haven't put that on a T-shirt, I'm going to. Actually, I really don't want to write anything that can't be put on a T-shirt. Actually I'd like to write only on T-shirts. Actually, I'd like to write whole novels on T-shirts. So you guys could say, 'I'm wearing chapter 8 of Lestat's new book, that's my favorite; oh I see you're wearing chapter 6-”