“Have you ever noticed that folks will say ‘Look, he has his mama’s eyes’ or ‘his daddy’s nose,’ but they never say ‘We’re so proud! Look! He’s hung just like grampa’?” - Zach McKnight”

“Where did you get that assault weapon?""Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute when you blush."Maddie's face grew hotter, but at least he'd mistaken the reason for her embarrassment.Zach turned his face back toward the ceiling. "That there's standard equipment, darlin'.""There's nothing standard about that.""I didn't hear you complaining.""Of course not. You sprang it on me when I was mentally incompetent."Zach laughed out loud. "That you were, sweet Maddie that you were." Maddie and Zach”

“Do you always play this hard to get?""I wish I could afford to play hard to get. You women have wised up a lot in the last decade or so. None of my old lines work anymore.""You mean 'wanna get naked' doesn't have women falling all over you?"Mac peered at her over the top of the menu. "Hey, that's my best one.""I'd hate to hear your worst."Yeah, you would. He set the menu down and leaned in as though about to say something confidential. "I crash and burn a lot."Mac and Rachel.”

“The image of Mac standing in front of a selection of penises, like a witness picking a criminal out of a line-up, was more than Rachel could bear with a straight face.”

“Even sentenced to twenty-five years in prison Ted didn’t get what he deserved. Maybe his prison mates would give it to him.”

“Obstacles are placed in our path to determine whether we really wanted something or just thought we did." Dr. Harold Smith”

“I had received a t-shirt from my best friend Veronica at my police academy graduation. It reads, ‘Throw your donut in the opposite direction and the cops won’t get you.’ I love wearing that t-shirt.”