“The world is in serious condition largely due to our conditioning to be serious. Seriously.”

“The bad news: There is no key to the universe. The good news: It was never locked.”

“Broken Wind believed that we are traumatized as babies by intestinal gas or colic. The great shaman invented a technique called "gastral projection" to help release these traumas. His philosophy was simple: "To air is human ... but to really cut one loose is divine.”

“His accelerated path to yogihood hit a dead end when his kundalini exploded in a crowded department store. No one else was injured, but Swami caught an inflection which left him with a permanent East Indian accent.”

“He studied with the guru of rock n’ roll, Baba Oom Mow Mow, who taught his own version of the Golden Rule: "Do wop unto others as you would have them do wop unto you.”

“Liberty is the first condition of growth. It is wrong, a thousand times wrong, if any of you dares to say, 'I will work out the salvation of this woman or child.”

“A slightly uncommon condition of the some-long-word. Nothing at all serious, but it just needs putting right. A simple treatment.”