“George Burns tells a wonderful story about the one time in his life (so he says) he cheated on his beloved Gracie. He was so disgusted and ashamed of himself that he went out and bought her the most beautiful diamond necklace he could find. Gracie was pretty sure she knew what was wrong, but she accepted the necklace and said nothing. Several years passed. One night, she and George were out to dinner and an acquaintance complimented her on her lovely necklace. As George stood there, aghast, she replied, 'Thank you. I wish George would cheat on me again so I could get the matching earrings.”

“We all know food is not just food. It’s thoughtfulness, generosity, and, yes, love. It’s a way of showing that you care for him that he will understand even better than words.But what about me? I hear you asking yourself. Why can’t he cook for me every once in a while?A comedian I heard recently suggested that the best way to get a man to cook for you is to get him to associate cooking with danger. Men who don’t like to fuss with sauces and muffin pans nevertheless can get pretty excited about grilling meats or chopping just about anything. If cooking involves fire or large knives or a whole fish – preferably all three – he’s there.”

“George stared at the dove. What would she say if she could speak to him? What would she wish for, for her father? For she, too, had been harmed by a man who had meant to show his utmost love for her.It made George wonder why love was suppose to be such a wonderful thing. As far as he could tell, love was just another excuse for causing pain.”

“The more you act like a lady, the more he will act like a gentleman.”

“No man as godly as George, the only fault he finds with God is that he made folk with too few orifices. If George could meet a woman with a quinny under her armpit, he would call out 'Glory be' and set her up in a house and visit her every day, until the novelty wore off. Nothing is forbidden to George, you see. He'd go to it with a terrier bitch if she wagged her tail at him and said bow-wow.'For once he is struck silent. He knows he will never get it out of his mind, the picture of George in a hairy grapple with a little ratting dog.”

“She was the most beautiful thing you ever saw. She was radiant. And she was wearing this necklace... When you see the necklace in the painting, it all makes sense. He loved her. Even if she lived to one hundred and five without ever getting an answer.”

“What's your name?” When she said nothing, he sighed. “You'll find that cooperating will go a long way with me.”“Fine,” she bit out. “It's Sela.”"See? That didn't hurt, did it?” He pushed to his feet, giving her the opportunity she needed.Rolling, she swung her legs out, caught him in the knees...and he went down like a log. Granted, he was up again in a heartbeat, snarling with fury, but still, it felt good to give him a good whack.“You can't help it, can you?” he snapped. “You keep doing stupid things.”“You keep pissing me off!”He blinked. And then he laughed, and good Lord, the man was drop-dead, fucking gorgeous when he did that.-Logan and Sela”