“The main question to a novel is -- did it amuse? were you surprised at dinner coming so soon? did you mistake eleven for ten? were you too late to dress? and did you sit up beyond the usual hour? If a novel produces these effects, it is good; if it does not -- story, language, love, scandal itself cannot save it. It is only meant to please; and it must do that or it does nothing.”

“Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea! How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.”

“Plenty of people were writing novels; in fact, if one did a survey in the street, half of Edinburgh was writing a novel, and this meant that there really weren't enough characters to go round. Unless, of course, one wrote about people who were themselves writing novels. And what would the novels that these fictional characters were writing be about? Well, they would be novels about people writing novels.”

“Mankind are always happy for having happiness. So if you make them happy now, you make them happy twenty years from now by the memory of it. ”

“If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth. ”

“we know nothing of tomorrow, our business is to be good and happy today”

“If you want to improve your understanding, drink coffee.”