“What's your definition of dating?Lengthy social time spent with a woman during which we're not actively fucking”

“Sketches are social things. They are lonely outside the company of other sketches and related reference material. They are lonely if they are discarded as soon as they are done. And they definitely are happiest when everyone in the studio working on the project has spent time with them.”

“What is your definition of skank?' I ask.'A skank fucks skeezas she barely knows.”

“Your extracurricular activities are definitely somewhat lackluster, Annie.""What? Being the daughter of a celebrated criminal doesn't count as an extracurricular activity?""No," Scarlet said. "A case could be made for poisoning your ex-boyfriend however.”

“But my stomach starts constricting because I MIGHT HAVE WANTED IT TO BE A DATE. I mean, what is that? Dates lead to commitment and commitment leads to temporary insanity and temporary insanity leads to full on mental illness—picking out china patterns, choosing museums to get married in—and ends with two fucked-in-the head sons and a dad trying to hold it together when he’s just as fucked-in-the-head as they are.So no, I definitely don’t want it to have been a date.”

“Love tip # 29: Increase your chances of getting to second date by not having stinky garlic breath during the end of the first date. Especially if you’re dating a vampire.”