“It was the first time I had ever felt guilt at finding a man attractive.”

“Just out of interest, what did you make of my Finn?Probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen.”

“Normally the first to read the small print, I had deliberately hidden away any paperwork that referred to this ridiculous task, and now I found myself kissing goodbye to a laptop, a mobile phone and two fully-loaded MP3 players, not to mention the halogen light that allowed me to work through the night if I so desired.   I stared disconsolately out over the shimmering tarmac and   wondered if I might be granted permission to shave my legs.”

“[...] Lilith turned on me with the same fury I had watched her unleash on that fat bastard on the TV and I seriously feared for my balls.”

“The momentary discomfort was nothing at all compared to the realisation that she was finding refuge in my flawed embrace.”

“She wore a cantilevered, augmented-breast-skimming satin dress the colour of egg-yolk. Somewhere in deepest Nebraska, a prom queen two sizes smaller than Selena was wondering where the fuck her outfit had disappeared to.”

“I didn’t know what the hell to say to that. I just gave an ungrateful sigh of exasperation and pulled the sweater over my head.‘It’s just your colour,’ Henry enthused.‘And you can fuck right off,’ I said.”