“Experience has taught me the power of trophies. You may have every knick-knack and useless contraption ever devised, but while they weigh you down, a simple trophy can go a long, long way.”

“Receiving trophies is all about getting recognized. Wearing big sunglasses and a fake mustache is about not being recognized. Why not wearable trophies, so you can be recognizably unrecognizable?”

“A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.
”

“When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?” (…)A sigh of longing. “To be honest, I wanted to be ruler of the entire world. Or the ruler’s trophy wife.”

“With you,love is a trophy that comes in different sizes, and you're always trying to get the biggest one out there. Mine wasn't the biggest, or the shiniest. For me, love is a ribbon. It doesn't matter what color or size it is, as long as I can pin it to my heart”

“The mother of a trophy wife is not automatically a trophy mother-in-law.”