“If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

“ I'd like to kiss you, Darling, but I just washed my hair. ”

“I have three phobias which, could I mute them,would make my life as slick as a sonnet,but dull as ditch water:I hate to go to bed,I hate to get up and I hate to be alone...”

“They say it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down.”

“I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.”

“I've had a man and I've had a woman, and there's got to be something better.”

“There have only been two geniuses in the world — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.”