“It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.”

“They say it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down.”

“Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.”

“My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”

“There have only been two geniuses in the world — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.”

“Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.”

“I have three phobias which, could I mute them,would make my life as slick as a sonnet,but dull as ditch water:I hate to go to bed,I hate to get up and I hate to be alone...”