“I want to see your tattoos." "You do, huh?”

“You know, I'd get a tattoo with your name on it. Only, I want you to have the freedom to change your name if you want to.”

“Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.”

“I do want to get married. It's a nice idea. Though I think husbands are like tattoos--you should wait until you come across something you want on your body for the rest of your life instead of just wandering into a tattoo parlor on some idle Sunday and saying, 'I feel like I should have one of these suckers by now. I'll take a thorny rose and a "MOM" anchor, please. No, not that one--the big one.”

“I am a rapist and a sadistic pig,' if you get that tattoo removed I will carve it into your forehead, do you understand?”

“I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER”