“Those people who say it takes more muscles to frown than smile are in serious danger of having their pants catch on fire.”

“Have you ever chopped down something with an ax? Not fun. I now have serious doubts regarding George Washington and his cherry tree.”

“Vampires? You think vampires are real? Seriously?""The werewolf is asking me if I believe in vampires?”

“I’m always nice. And I don’t scare people.' Ashley smiled sweetly and patted my back where her hand was resting. 'Of course not, sweetie. You’re always sunshine and rainbows.' I was going to sunshine and rainbows her face if she didn’t watch it.”

“What Alex and I shared was preternaturally right. I couldn't give him up no more than I could give up breathing. Did that mean that I loved Charlie any less? No. It just meant I couldn't be with him.”

“What is it with girls and vampires?" charlie asked, trying to smile. "They're pretty and they sparkle in the sun, just like unicorns." --Scout”

“Are you a murderer?""That depends, are you one of those animal activist[s] that believe meat is murder?”