“Why did you come back here, then? Why risk it? Couldn’t you find a place where you wouldn’t have any other Packs to deal with?”He cupped my face in his hands, his thumb gently brushing a snowflake from my eyelashes.“You know why I came back.”My heart started beating against my ribcage as if it was trying to break free. “The fried chicken they serve at The Farmhouse?”“I came back for you, Scout.”I had to say something. Something clever. Something dazzling. Something to make this moment perfect.“I hope the snow sticks.”

“...as I watched all the problems you were struggling with, I realized how much you meant to me. It changed everything. I was worried about you—so, so worried. You have no idea. And it became useless to try to act like I could ever put any Moroi life above yours. It's not going to happen, no matter how wrong others say it is. And so I decided that's something I have to deal with. Once I made that decision...there was nothing to hold us back." He hesitated, seeming to replay his words as he brushed my hair from my face. "Well, to hold me back. I'm speaking for myself. I don't mean to act like I know exactly why you did it.""I did it because I love you," I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was.”

“What's wrong? Are you trying to make me lose it? Why didn't you say something when I came in?""I didn't know I was supposed to. You called out for your mom. I didn't know I was required to announce my presence like it was roll call.”

“His hands slid up my neck, searing hot. Pressing his thumbs gently into my throat, he tipped my head back. I felt his lips come against mine so hard he stopped whatever name I'd been about to call him from coming out. His hands dropped to my shoulders, skimmed down my arms, and came to rest at the small of my back. Little shivers of panic and pleasure shot through me. He tried to pull me against him, and I bit him on the lip.He licked his lip with the tip of his tongue. "Did you just bite me?""Is everything a joke to you?" I asked.He dabbed his tongue to his lip again. "Not everything.""Like what?""You.”

“There’s sex, and there’s…this.” He met my eyes. “Just being with someone like this. This isn’t something that can be bought or sold, and I couldn’t manufacture it for someone no matter how much they tried to pay me for it.” He ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “That’s why I’m here tonight. Because I needed this. And here, with you, is the only place I can get it.” He swallowed hard. “Or give it.”

“I should go," I said thickly. "Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for...talking."I started to turn; then I heard him say abruptly, "No."I glanced back. "What?"He held my gaze, and something warm and wonderful and powerful shot between us."No," he repeated. "I told her no.""I..." I shut my mouth before my jaw hit the floor. "But...why? That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have had a baby. And she...she was, you know, into you..."The ghost of a smile flickered on his face. "Yes, she was. Is. And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that...couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when..." He took a few steps toward me. "Not when my heart is somewhere else.”