“Isn't that just like a man. 450-fucking-years-old and he's still thinking with his balls!”

“Oh, for fuck's sake; sometimes a raccoon is just a raccoon!”

“Once a man began thinking with his body, intelligent decisions came few and far between.”

“The world tilted slightly sideways. 'I think I need to sit down.' The floor seemed like the best option. It was close and he'd already proved that he could hit it. His legs folded.”

“What goes on between a man and his missus is nobody's business; especially where desert toppin's involved.”

“Claire "The Elysian Fields Guest House? Why didn't he just call it the Vestibule to Hell?"Dean "Because that would be bad for business?"From Summon the Keeper”

“But I am a knight of the Round Table," he protested, weakly. "I am a protector of the realm, a slayer of evil, I defeat all those who raise their swords in opposition to Arthur, King of all Britain." "Trust me, kid, women prefer a man who can cook.”