“I knew guys got erections.I was perfectly prepared to deal with it. When the right guy and the right erection came along.”

“I used to think I knew what was right and what was wrong, and who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are. Then the world got very gray, and I didn't know anything for a long time”

“The minute I stopped trying to find the right girl, and started trying to become the right guy...the girl came.”

“So I knew this wasn't going to be one of those things where I liked a guy and then this awful girl liked him, and I got the guy because I was so wholesome and right and good. This was real life. In real life, I had to get a serious grip.”

“I don't know if I even believe in that anymore. The right guy. The perfect guy. The one. I've lost faith in "the".How do you feel about "a" and "an"?Indifferent.So you're considering a life without articles?”

“It was probably easier in the old days when the bad guys rode into town wearing black capes or whatever bad guys wore and the milk cows were ownded by honest people. Right off the bat, you'd know who you were dealing with. Now everybody dresses alike.”