“I will always be that guy's girl. I've made him so big in my mind that I can't even move around in there. It's not that I can even be with him. I just won't ever be without him. I'll never be whole without him.”

“I laugh nervously and jerk my hand free, "I want the you that tilts his head back and eats the snow. I want the you that holds me and snuggles into me. I want him, but you hardly ever show him to me. I see a glimpse of him and then it's you that’s back." I point disappointedly. "I want the sweet guy who puts his hand out for me."His eyes fight something. His lips tighten, "He's in here too. I think there are a few of us.”

“I still can't believe you kicked me.""I didn’t want to. I needed to."I glance at him as we leave the dorms, "Keep telling yourself that."He grins his cocky, shitty grin, "Keep telling yourself the paddle doesn’t turn you on."I snort and hate that he knows so much about me. My cheeks are on fire just hearing the word paddle.”

“I grip him. "Don’t leave me."He kisses my lips, "Never again. This isn’t me leaving you. This is me choosing you." He throws my words back at me.He kisses me once more and then pushes off. He leaves and doesn’t look back. I fight the urge to run after him.”

“He clears his throat, "Have you considered he sees you as a girl at school? Not all girls are whole when you meet them. Sometimes you have to help them get there. Right now, you are a broken girl. That doesn’t mean that you'll always be broken. That doesn’t make you less of a girl." He clears his throat again, "I'll call the doc. She'll want to talk to you."The tears in my eyes don’t come out. They stay in there like tiny kaleidoscopes, trying to make the world the way I need it to be. My words don’t come right away either. I don’t hear the click on his end when I whisper, "I'm not broken." But he isn’t there. He never really is. He is the master of not being there.”

“The image of him standing in the elevator doors, in his silver dress shirt and dark-grey dress pants wiping me off his lips, is the sexiest and most devastating thing I've ever seen.”

“Brandon has a shit-eating grin. I want to make him eat it. I know what's more realistic though. I'm going to get beaten up by a little boy.”