“Jim, would you rather have your porn name be Hugh G. Rection or Mike Unstinks?”

“I would hate to see seventeen people with monosyllabic names like Mike or Ann die, but if they did, and you wrote down all their names in groups of 5-7-5, you'd have one tragic haiku.”

“I would rather be told an R-rated truth than a G-rated lie.”

“Right then," Campbell began, his tone so civil it was offensive. "May I have your name for the record, Miss...?""Eliza Braun," Eliza sneered. "Here, I'll spell it for you -- B-U-G-G-E-R-O-F-F.”

“[G]rowing into your future with health and grace and beauty doesn’t have to take all your time. It rather requires a dedication to caring for yourself as if you were rare and precious, which you are, and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is. (267-268)”

“My name is Mike. Instantly forgettable. Unlike Heather. What a breathless little name that is.”